Thursday, April 2, 2015

Bless us, O Divine Lady of Bottomless Martinis & Netflix Binges

First off, I must apologize for missing last week. I had the flu/cold/virus-from-hell/plague that was going around and it knocked me solidly on my ass. I'm still not 100% but at least I'm not propelling myself backward from the sheer force of my cough.

One of my favorite sites, The Toast, had a piece this week by Molly Priddy called My Secular Patron Saints. The author wrote about her Catholic upbringing and how it was at odds with her own beliefs:

"By middle school, I wasn’t looking to the Catholic communion of saints for life inspiration anymore. They didn’t apply to me, other than the women who died being obstinate. I learned that in order to survive, I had to find my own patron saints for inspiration. I had to build my own mythology, one in which my wants and dreams and desires were important, not just a lesson in sin or a second-class concern."

She kicked it off with Saint Idgie Threadgoode, Patron Saint of Tomboys.
I really liked this. I also was raised Catholic; like Ms. Priddy, it didn't stick for me, either. I questioned too much, not to mention bristled at the subservient role women play in the Catholic religion. But I've always loved the idea of patron saints. I love the idea of one figure whose special mission is to look out for those she was assigned. When I was confirmed, I took the saint's name of Brigid, mostly because she's one of the patron saints of Ireland (and dairy!) and it was the name my great-grandma had wanted my mom to name me. But as I read through Ms. Priddy's patron saints selection, I thought about coming up with a stable of my own patron saints, ladies who were "my own people, birds of my feather." And yes, it seemed necessary that they only be women. So here they are, in no particular order:

St. Bella Abzug

Our Lady of Hat-Wearing Feminists

St. Eloise

Patron Saint of the Exuberantly Misbehaved

St. Red Fraggle

Patron Saint of Gingers, natural and otherwise

St. Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Patron Saint of Ladies Who Could've Done the Job as Well as Or Better Than a Man If She'd Only Been Allowed

St. Rory Gilmore

Patron Saint of Voracious Readers

St. Liz Lemon

Our Lady of Night Cheese

Sts. Bailey and Lulu

Patron Saints of Blind Love

St. Amy Poehler

Patron Saint of Being Awesome 

(I mean, really, how do you encapsulate all that Amy Poehler is other than 'awesome'? Tied with St. Knope- Patron Saint of Lady Friends)

St. Grace O'Malley

Patron Saint of Female Pirates and their
Modern-Day Equivalent

Sts. Edina and Patsy

Our Ladies of Fabulousness, Sweetie Darling

St. Ramona

Patron Saint of Being True to Yourself

St. Lucille

Blessed Lady of Hospital Bars

St. Sally

Patron Saint of Fussy Eaters

St. Harper

Patron Saint of Writers Who Just Need Some Time Off to Write

St. Dorothy Parker

Patron Saint of Wit and the Stylish Comeback

St. Dorothy Zbornak

Our Lady of the Cutting Look

St. Joan Jett

Patron Saint of Bad-Assery

St. Eleanor 

Patron Saint of Doing the Thing That You Think You Cannot Do


Most Blessed Lady of Protecting Our Rights

1 comment:

  1. How thoroughly wife made some graven idols (clay statues!) of her saints, one for pasta, one for pesto one for......