Friday, October 22, 2010

High Five

Yeah, THIS is what I'm talkin' about!!

Think of me when there is pee

My friend LB and I are juvenile.
One of our favorite ways to pass time together is screaming in laughter.
Typically at things that would similarly amuse preteen boys.

Don't get me wrong- we are highly educated, sophisticated, well-read women. Our times together have included museum visits, book discussion groups, and important, award-winning films. But inevitably, we go back to Jackass.

I think we stumbled upon it just channel-surfing. Something about a grown man putting a toy car up his bum just cracked us the hell up.

On vacation in Vermont, we watched Jackass 2.5, and in between groaning and hiding behind our hands, we screamed with laughter like goddamn lunatics.

I went to see Jackass 3D with some friends last night and LB and I had the following conversations before and after viewing. I think you can see that we are essentially 14-year-old boys at heart.

Me: Dammit, there was something I was going to tell you today that would've made you very proud of me but I forget what it was. Oh! I know! I watched my first episode of A Bit of Fry & Laurie last night! I hearted it to death.  And I'm going to see Jackass 3D tonight!

LB: You can't see me, but I just put my hands up to my mouth and welled up a bit with tears. I AM SO PROUD!!! yayay!! I love that show, tooooo! <3

Are you going alone to see jackass? I don't know why I will go see most things alone, but I don't want to go see that alone. weird.

Me: I am going with dan & polly, brett & our friend eric, who you would like quite a much.

LB: oh! i want to talk with eric. you are going to have fun. lucky duck. ;) i will be working tonight. wish me luck with the crazy folks!

Me: I will be thinking of you as Bam Margera pees out into the audience in 3D. Did you see the Buffalo Roller Skating clip on the Daily show last week? I'll try to find it and send it to you. HILARIOUS.

LB: i did not see this clip!! send it to me!!  yes, think of me when there is pee!

Me: Is that like you being proud of my #2?
(Note: sometime this past summer, I had three good things happen to me at once. I listed them numerically in a note to LB. She wrote back: "I am so proud of your #2!" Giggles ensued.)

LB: hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. let us not get started on that again... i can go for hours. (that did not come out right. ... d'oh! i said "come out"!!). it's hard not to accidentally talk about poo.

And then this morning:


No, seriously, it was AWESOME. I laughed till I cried.
We must do a jackass marathon next time we hang out.
It had a giant pig eating an apple out of a fat guy's ass. Does it get any better than that???

LB: I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THIS MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Also, they played weiner baseball. Yup. Used it as a bat for a ping pong ball. did you hear that they had the premiere at MOMA in NYC???

LB: OMG. i thought you meant like a hot dog. oh my. ahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa. crack.

i did hear that. i am proud of them boys.

Yeah, we have a problem. But I don't care. It makes me laugh, and that's good enough for me. But I think there's more to it than just a bunch of guys goofing around.  For one thing, they take a great deal of care planning their pranks & stunts.  One scene in the movie has Johnny Knoxville being Mr. Invisible. He's wearing a suit painted like a tree in front of a rainbow to blend into a backdrop. And then he tries to become 'invisible' to hide from a charging bull, but that's beside the point.

And they actually took the time to create an enormous hand on a spring that would snap out of nowhere and "high five" people right over on their butts. If the only point was to knock people over, you could've done it with a simple board. But they went farther and created a giant, powerful high-five. That's dedication. Yeah, some of it is pretty disgusting and definitely dangerous, but there's such a goodnatured gleefulness about it. It reminds me of when I was a fearless kid and only thought about how cool something would be, not whether I might break my neck or get bruises that I couldn't show up to work with on Monday. There's a slapstick element to it that dates back to Buster Keaton.

There have been numerous articles recently comparing Jackass to performance art, therefore the premiere at the Museum of Modern Art in NYC. It's the extra elements around the prank/stunt itself that impress me- like Johnny Knoxville doing a ridiculous dance wearing a pink cardigan and old-school rollerskates in a muddy pen before getting knocked to the ground by a buffalo. In fact, THOSE ARE THE BEST PARTS. The buffalo hit is just the punctuation to the joke. You don't need elaborate costumes and backdrops to launch a dude on a teeny motorbike over a creek, but it adds so much, and hey- who doesn't like dressing up?

But MOMA-deserving or not, me & LB just like to laugh at fart jokes and people getting knocked down.
We're ahead of our time, that's all.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

F you and the Alan Parsons Project too

I'm too tired and sunburned to post the latest chapter in the Uggly Wugglies saga (I lost another Clarence; let's leave it at that for now).

I traveled to my hometown this weekend for my dad's birthday. In addition to hanging out with the old man and going out to dinner with him and my siblings (my mom is away with her sisters celebrating Auntie J's successful battle with breast cancer) visits home always include some kind of technological maintenance work on my part.

While my dad, who graduated with a minor in computer science in 1976, is a very bright man, he does not seem to understand passwords. The general concept of them. So he doesn't bother to remember them. Or write them down. So as my folks' desktop computer is in its death-throes and he wants to check his email on my mom's laptop which will require him to use webmail instead of the mail program he had been using, I had to change his password, as he didn't have a clue what the original one may have been.

The other part of my technological journey this weekend has been helping my brother load and use an iTunes gift card. My brother is a character, as I've mentioned here before. His musical selections on this day were, um, interesting. In addition to some admittedly awesome soul tunes, here are the songs he purchased that I was not able to block from my mind:

Afternoon Delight- Starland Vocal Band

The Hustle - Van McCoy & the Soul City Symphony

The Stroke- Billy Squier

Freeze Frame- J. Geils Band

And the piece de resistance, Al Stewart's "Time Passages":

I thank whatever gods may be that he ran out of money before he could buy anything by the Alan Parsons Project.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

ABCs of me

Totally ripping off Reverend Awesome on this one:

A - Age: 37
B - Bed size: Queen, but it sure feels a lot smaller with two adults and two 25-30 lbs. dogs
C - Chore you hate: Most, but washing big pots & pans makes me hulk-angry
D - Don’t eat: pork chops. Spicy asian food. Calamari. Chicken wings. (But I like boneless ones, which are basically nuggets with wing sauce, let's face it.)
E - Essential start your day item: Coffee and sitting.
F - Favorite board game: I always like Trivial Pursuit, but not the fancy specialty ones that are all we have (gifts). I enjoy Cranium, as long as I don't have to do charades or hum or any of the performance ones.
G - Gold or Silver: Is copper a choice?
H - Height: 5’ 2
I - Instruments you play: Clarinet. Saxophone. Poorly.
J - Job title: Director of Development & Community Relations (how high-falutin')
K - Kid(s): None here, but I do have a 20 year old godson who is very cool.
L - Love or lust: Lusty love.
M - Mom’s name: Nan. Really Andrea, but her childhood nickname was Nan for some reason & it stuck.
N - Nicknames: Her. Hamchuck. (See the name of this blog.)
O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Nope.
P - Pants or pantyhose: I'm not crazy about either, but definitely pants over pantyhose. Those are an evil invention designed to make women crazy. And drag queens.
Q - Favorite Movie Quote: "Gee Ricky, I'm sorry your mom blew up." Better Off Dead
R - Right or left handed: Right
S - Sibling(s): 1 brother, Kevin. 1 sister, Katie.
T - Time you wake up: 7:15am
U - Underwear: Yes, I don't understand this question. What about underwear? UnderWHERE?
V - Vegetable favorite: Spinach.
W - Ways you run late: Daydreaming. Thinking "I can squeeze about 10 more minutes of sleep if I don't wash my hair today."
X - X-rays you’ve had: Just teeth. The whole-head xray is kinda cool.
Y - Yummy food you make: Pumpkin crunch dessert. Or white chocolate/strawberry shortbread cookies. (Which you would know if I'd responded to the desserts challenge on the BABB.)
Z - Zoo favorite: Otters. I need one. Right now.

Friday, October 1, 2010

October BABB Show! Check out the spooky awesomeness!

We are the BAMF Art Blog Bunch a group of eleven artists from around the world and we have a group blog full of nonsense and creative fun at the BABB Blog.

We decided that for fall and October we would do a theme related to the illustrator-director-story teller Tim Burt0n. The entries below are all our seperate and creative takes on the theme and some of our relatives are also exhibiting, tres exciting, have a look!

Gary Rith
I have been fiddling with skulls on black pots for awhile. At one point, Kasey mentioned "teh goths rock teh black and red" and she was right, and I added red with the black, and another time kasey was like "OH! I love hearts and skulls!" and she is getting married and I made sure she got a teapot with hearts and skulls, but this week for this exhibit I wanted to take the idea a little further. I wanted a spirally teapot with a groovy handle, but then I was wondering if I could also paint on a spooky skull.....and I did :) These cups and teapot are available by emailing me at and other items like them are already for sale at my etsy gallery.My name is Gary Rith and my blog is here. I can be reached at and my website is and my etsy gallery is here.

Becky Jo Brandow
It's kinda JACK-like. :)

I love a Nightmare Before Christmas.. Jack might be my favorite non-human character ever.. he's creepy, he can be nice, but mostly he's just a fun weirdo character. I wanted to get a little bit of Jack into my BABB Tim Burton*ish project, so I just planted him in the bottom of a Halloween colored bowl. This bowl is available in my Etsy Shop or you can see more photos, plus fun pottery stuff at my BLOG. If the bowl is already sold, I'm making a few more... you can contact me at if you just can't live without one. :)

Jill Sneed Brown
Hi folks! Typically I am a portrait and wedding photographer, but I have this lovely image of my daughter. I picked it because it's kinda spooky looking with her running in the woods in a white dress.... like she's being chased by some spooky creature. With it's creepy yet whimsical feel - I thought it would be a perfect fit for the BABB Tim Burton-ish Show!

My website is Jill Brown Photography
My blog is Jill Brown Photography Blog
My Etsy

Kerry Barnes

I bring you...

Walter Scissorhands!

Why are you hiding back there? You don't have to hide from me - I'm Peg Boggs, your local Avon representative and I'm as harmless as cherry pie... Oh, my. What happened to you?

I'm not finished.

The years spent in isolation have not equipped him with the tools necessary to judge right from wrong. He's had no context. He's been completely without guidance. Furthermore, his work - the garden sculptures, hairstyles and so forth - indicate that he's a highly imaginative... uh... character. It seems clear that his awareness of what we call reality is radically underdeveloped.

Hold me!

I can't.

When I think of Tim Burton, I think of a spooky atmosphere, but there also seems to be a story behind each image. The first image is from an abandoned Fort Williams in Maine.

The second image is from an interesting building at Cornell University. In the fall we have a lot of dreary cloudy days. This is an excellent time to capture a spooky mood with black and white.

Check out these photos, and other photos at my SmugMug site.


Maureen Johnson

This piece is called "Oogie Boogie Blood and Guts Bowl". When thinking of Tim Burton and his wonderful animations mainly the "Night Before Christmas", which George and I adored what comes to mind is always the macabre . His creations always hold me spellbound even though they are at times gory and somewhat repulsive to the Max.

The character I created was to represent his wonderful animated characters. This one met his match and wound up squished into a soup for a Monsters dinner.
It is made out of stoneware, fired to cone 6, the character is hand sculpted.
The soup consists of tomato soup, salsa, pasta, and provolone cheese cut into bones. MMM so delicious and rated four stars by ghouls, trolls, monsters everywhere
Kasey Baker

Our entries. I decided to name it because that's what you do with FINE ART such as this. So, this is Creature in Love. When you're not really human, not really alive and not really anything found in nature you just sort of creep about in graveyards when you fall in love. I can't tell you why because I am a human most days.

So my entry is the drawing. Scott's entry is he colored in my drawing. We're a team and humans.

You can find more art HERE. At my facebook page. Be my friend! Follow me on twitter! Read my blog.

Send me emails. Not spam emails. Send me fun-time emails and amuse me.

Ghosties by India Haines

India created this painting using acrylics, paper and ink on canvas. It is inspired by the many Tim Burton movies she has watched over the years. Ghosties, and more of India's work can be seen at her Mom's Blog. This work and another mysterious collaboration piece by India's Mom, and Brother Mason will soon be available for sale on Zibbet, just follow the links in the sidebar at Lizziespots