|Only known documented image of Penny.|
Gary Rith's adorable dog or the claymation chick on Pee Wee's Playhouse.
Penny is sort of my Inner Hulk. Penny does the opposite of what people think "Kerry" would do. Penny will only talk to annoying people at parties through a hand puppet named Atomicat. Penny is so good at Wii Boxing that it makes Brett afraid (more than a little channeling Mike Tyson there). Penny can give you the evil eye with the best of them. Penny will call you out on your bullshit and make you feel like you were just scolded by the most vicious Catholic school nun you've ever met.
ShortStop. (Because you never ever use your real name at ShortStop. Never.)
In high school, my best friend and I called each other "Mrs. Schmenkman" for reasons I can no longer recall.
And as you've read in the header, my dad calls me "Hamchuck."
But sometimes, nothing else will do but "Penny."