It's a Hard-Butt Life

Some things that happened this week:

I overheard a girl on the bus pronounce the store's name as "Weg-a-mins." This tickled me.

At work, I found a resident in the hallway looking particularly lost and confused, but it turns out she was just throwing shade at one of our more creatively-attired, eccentric residents who had just walked by.

For our Friday Feast gathering, Ledbetter & I watched the 1982 film Annie. This was easily my favorite movie as a kid. I had Annie's red dress and her broken locket. I remember seeing it at the movies with my family. During the scene where Annie's hanging off the elevated railroad tracks, I remember my mom leaning down and asking me, "Aren't you scared?" and being surprised that I was too entranced to be frightened at the thought of a little girl my age about to possibly plummet to her death.

Punjab was fascinating, too. What on earth was that turban made of that could support his weight and Annie's suspended in the air?? How handy that he always had that right at his fingertips! I remember being completely befuddled when I later learned what a Bolshevik was, because my only knowledge of them previously was a wild-bearded dude who threw a round black bomb with a sparkly fuse into Daddy Warbucks' office. Last year I finally watched Camillle with Greta Garbo and Robert Taylor and I had to admit the only part I was familiar with was the "Marguerite!" "Armand!"

"Marguerite!" "Armand!" exchange they showed when Annie, Grace Farrell & Daddy Warbucks saw it at the movies.

It can't be right that this was the first time I'd seen it since 1982, but it felt like it. Two things struck me:

One, how utterly perfect Carol Burnett was as Miss Hannigan. So boozy, so floozy. Such ability to hiccup on command! "Bonus Ay-rees"?? I really want to start referring to people as "my little pig-droppings."

And two, how clear it was that Aileen Quinn, playing Annie, was really a little girl. She was my age when this was filmed- actually a year older than me- but watch it now, and she's so obviously a small child. This shouldn't be remarkable, but child actors nowadays are such polished, skillfully styled professionals that they seem less like children and more like small adults. This Annie was clearly a KID, messy hair and all, and maybe that's the reason so many of us little girls at the time related to her so strongly.

The other item of note this week was a local news story, out of Syracuse, that when I posted it on Facebook, the most common reaction varied between, "This can't be real" and "Is this a joke?" and quick checking to make sure the publication wasn't The Onion.

Yes, Rick Springfield is in court again for damages incurred by his rear end.
Uh huh.

Vicki Calcagno, 45, of Liverpool, said Springfield, a 1980s pop icon and actor, struck her with his buttocks while performing in the crowd during a 2004 Chevrolet Court concert at the State Fair. She said she was knocked unconscious.

"Struck her with his buttocks."

Apparently, what happened is that Springfield went out into the audience during the show, stood on a fence or bench, lost his balance and fell on this woman, who was injured. It makes it sound like he directed his ass at her like a weapon and assaulted her with it.

Apparently, Rick Springfield is very upset over this. "Rick Springfield yelled and cried while on the witness stand this afternoon for the retrial of an injury lawsuit against him... Springfield was emotional again when his lawyer, John Pfeifer, asked him about going out into the audience to be closer to his fans. Springfield choked up and was given a tissue for his tears."

He should have taken the apt advice of Syracuse.com article commenter, James Bafaro, "Don't Twerk to Strangers."

Or from Oy gevalt: "Syracuse. We'll sue your butt off."

One can only imagine Tina Belcher's reaction to this story.